I've recently discovered that the problem with depression isn't the painful sadness or the intense apathy, the lack of hygiene and nutrition and sunshine and friends...
It's the fact that being depressed takes up a lot of time. Weeks, months, years go by in a haze and before you know it one morning you're waking up (exhausted) and looking at a calendar unable to recognize the date. 2010? How the hell did that happen?
Coming out of a depression is really like coming out of a coma.
The really sad thing is that I didn't even know I was depressed until I started to come out of it. I've been living life at a dull hum, not really doing anything except the bare minimum needed to get by. I have no excuses for this. I'm tired of making excuses.
I don't want to waste another minute of life! I've been making some small changes over the past month, getting out more, being with people more, taking photos and sewing and drawing. Getting dressed, showering, eating. The simple things. The things I used to enjoy doing. The things that make me "me".
So that's it. No more excuses, no more bullshit. It's time for me to get on my way.
3 comments:
I'm very proud of you & reading this is inspiring to me even though we don't know each other. I've been going in and out of mine for many years now...2010. Yes, I know. My dad passed away 9 years ago. Grief is a tough thing. The best thing I can do is to remember that when I feel depressed it's not my fault. It's so hard not to blame myself for not doing everything I've wanted to do with my life so far, but I'm still young & so are you and it's never to late to start living.
i got nothin' but *hugs* and a 'ganbatte-o! you can do it! :D' for you. i'm glad you're coming out of it. that's good. :D
--yobo
Thanks so much for your support guys, it really means a lot to me & helps me get out of bed in the morning. :)
Hugs to all.
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