Monday, March 15, 2010

The Good Life

life, or something like it by the half-blood prince

I've been having a hard time finding the motivation to do much of anything these days. I've always been a procrastinator and I think I'm also a bit of a perfectionist, which is a fatal combination because it's so easy to talk myself out of doing anything.

I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday while reading a blog written by a really lovely girl. I realized I was getting angry and this stream of negative thoughts was flowing through my head. I was so jealous of this persons goals and achievements, her photographs and writing and sewing. Someone was sharing their passion through their blog and here I was seething.

It shocked me to tune into my train of thought and hear myself. Why do I feel this way? It's so unhealthy! I never want to be jealous of another woman's success. I want to be celebrating along with her and feel genuinely happy. She works hard for the life she has. She deserves respect.

I realized that I need to focus on myself, or maybe not focus so much on myself. I need to stop measuring myself up to others and quit trying to achieve some kind of magical ideal that really doesn't exist. I expect instant results with minimal effort but life doesn't work that way.

I was thinking of what I can do, how I can go about organizing my life because that's really what I need right now - some direction. I remembered this website I used back when I was quitting smoking called 43 Things. I decided to dust off my account and will be updating it with my new, improved goals for my 30s.. it should be an interesting journey.

What do you want to do with your life?


Kyla Roma said...

Sometimes its so hard to remember that another person's life or achievements don't and can't invalidate the journey that we're on ourselves!

I'm glad that you're focusing on what you want to be doing, and are looking to the people for inspiration not competition =)

Adrienne said...

Thank you Kyla! That is the thought I had exactly - others achievements don't take away from my life. It's a very liberating realization to make, now I just need to start believing it. :)

Christopher And Tia said...

I think I've found myself in that exact same situation before. Reading about another woman's life, wondering "why not me", and then being angry with myself for not being that person, and then realizing how silly all of it really is.

Jealousy is tricky.

And just so you know, I think you're wonderful, and lovely, and inspiring. All of those things that I hope to be.

Nen said...

i needed to read that. i do the same thing... thanks for putting it into perspective!!